8 years of bliss
Eleven years ago Daniel asked me to move in with him within months of us dating. He was living in Japan, me in Malaysia. I said yes, and packed my bags for an adventure I had no idea where the path would lead. It was a leap of faith and a whole lot of love I already had for him, and I supposed him for me. Three years later in our home in Canada he woke me up on a winter morning and asked me through tears and words I never heard through my own screaming; to spend the rest of our lives together. He put that ring on my finger and we became one. We made promises on what we anticipated needed made. Never could we have known the unknown promises our marriage would bring us that we both took to poetically in wills that knew no end.
Eight years later, I am here with him and our two beautiful children in a cabin in the woods I couldn’t tell you exactly where except it is in North Carolina. I cared not the location, the way our life has always been, a dart on the map, a leap of faith. He delivered. He always delivered, I do not say this in generality, in this marriage, he always delivered.
Our marriage is nothing close to conventional. Now, I don’t know what conventional looks like but let’s say a TV sitcom marriage where husband and wife have seemingly no issues and argue about Valentines day gifts and dishes in the sink. I have not done dishes in eleven years because I hate the dishes with a vengeance and he knows this and agreeably takes to task. I love cooking and he loves my cooking. I decorate to make our home ours, he cleans to make that home a home. I am the one with the big ideas on vacations and celebrations, he helps with the prep work. We are in sync but haven’t always been. We have been on a rollercoaster finding each other’s calm in the past eight years and have been devoted in the trust we have of our love for each other no matter the course of the ride. I learned to trust him and do so now with all my faith, for my life has depended on his stalwart compassion over the years.
I have bipolar and in its verbatim manner, I have highs and lows that can be frustrating and demoralizing for ones who don’t understand. But my Daniel, he didn’t always understand, but he took the time and diligence to learn and understand. He has been my crutch when I have fallen so many times in this marriage, disappearing from our union into the oblivion of my mind. He also has been my anchor holding me to the ground when my mind takes flight into indulgences of mania. He celebrates my little wins and turns my losses into hope.
I have been away from the family that raised me for eleven years and the hurt of that separation has never left me. Yet, I watch my children in his arms in a playful wrestle and I see their father, my husband, steadfast in his love for us and this envelopes me in a warm blanket of comfort. The idea of home to me has lost physical meaning. It lives in my heart the way memories do, the way love does, the way dreams float, the way pain festers. My home is made of a vault of dreams and hope and unconditional love Daniel has planted in me and me in him. My home is where he is, where he goes I will stand beside him. I cannot imagine nor do I want a life without this man by my side. Home is where our hearts lie.
He’s got my back, and he watches for pitfalls ahead, but he always walks beside me, my hand in his strong clasp. He is my protector, my savior, my love but more than that, he cheers me on and cherishes my moments of every endeavor. He bolsters my falls and gives me faith in new possibilities. He sees me and all I am and all I can be even when most times I can’t. I enjoy being the woman beside the man who succeeds, for this man works harder than anyone I know and I appreciate all he does, all intentions set on our life and future.
A life of adventure was what we promised each other and looked forward to eight years ago and here we are in an adventure more ways than one. Together, we have traveled nine countries, thirty one American states and lived in three countries. We have had two beautiful children miniature morphed versions of us whom we are so proud of. We have a dog, a cat, a rabbit and fish that he conceded to for he struggles to deny me what I want. We keep traveling, exploring new worlds together, we keep building on the foundations we built eight years ago, together we are always looking to write in a new page in the chapters of life with enthusiasm and enthrallment.
Our marriage is what I could never have dreamed of, it is a fantasy I could never have imagined and I am thankful it is with the love of my life, Daniel. A tribute to the man that makes my world go round, here’s to our infinite future of adventures together.