I met a friend entirely serendipitously about eight years ago. Never would I have thought the universe brought her into my life because I would need her.

The moment we became friends, my social anxiety seemed to dissipate into vapors escaping me. She moved to Portugal about five years into our friendship, the adventurer that she is and that made it hard for me to be without her, that would prove to be more than a challenge. However, she has met the challenge and proven our friendship could withstand the distance.

Jenny is the kindest person I know, and also the fiercest one I know. She stepped in so many occasions that saved me from myself. She was with me throughout my pregnancy knowing I was going off my meds, she would come over to my house and watch Elsa who was about thirteen months old, , her eleven month old in tow. She insisted on me taking naps when she came over, knowing I was struggling. She was the kind of friend that dropped whatever she was doing in an instant and drove all the way to me to pay my bill at the restaurant because I had eaten and then realized I hadn’t brought my wallet. She’s gotten me out of a lot of jams which always ended with uncontrollable laughing fits.

She has never made me feel anything but loved, she is my safe place. On the days I felt like I would not make it, she stayed on the phone silent while I cried, trying to rid myself of that ten-ton lead ball deep within me. She would drive an hour and a half every day for months, to get to me knowing I was struggling with bipolar episodes and a new born and a toddler. She held my baby while I lay next to her crying, and she had the power to take all that pain off my chest, the weight I didn’t realize was there until I drew breath in her arms. She loved me through it all. She held on to my burdens when I couldn’t. She found ways to be there for me, mostly because there was never judgment or a need to fulfill any of her needs or expectations in my time of need. She knew there was a time and place for advice and never rushed me to get better or assumed what I needed to get better. A friend that just tuned in and really listened when the going was good, and even more when I couldn’t bear to speak. The most beautiful thing was how she made me feel that allowed me to lean on her with all my pain, she didn’t even know she was doing it.

She doesn’t just lift me up in times of grief, she does double lifts. Jenny is someone who cannot stand on the top alone, she wants everyone she loves to climb with her and enjoy the view together. For someone so deathly afraid of heights, this is an ironic notion. She’s never been someone who wastes time talking ideas or notions, she acts. She shows love through actions and it is glorious. It is incredible to be in her company, you cannot help but be inspired. She encourages my every idea, supports me not letting me let go of dreams. In the years we’ve been friends, she’s always pushed me to get what I envisioned.

Though she would inspire me to ‘pull’. “Pushing would suggest I am behind, I stand with you , and pull.” She said more than once. She always filled my head with aspirations to realize what she could see in me that escaped my purview.

She would assure me that everything was within reach and that she’s got my back. I always feel like there is nothing in the world I couldn’t do with Jenny by my side even when she’s continents away now. She is the embodiment of the saying “Empowered women empower women.” Whenever I get ideas these days, I am reminded of her overexcited face, her eyebrows perked up, her beautiful brown eyes open as wide as they go, and she speaks in a tone of urgency and is loud and strong. She lives for ideas coming to life, she lives for goals coming to hand, she lives for the happiness of those around her.

She is the most thoughtful person I know, she always knows what I need even before I realize, proven time and time again by gift boxes arriving at my door from her. They’re always things I was needing to complete or achieve what I wanted. Always a show of confidence. I started this trip on my memoir penned on a ‘Fucking brilliant’ notebook she had sent, a reminder from her, that I was. She has walked me through one too many difficult times, cheered me through happy times, supported me in many projects to achieve my goals, whatever they may be at the time.

We met in such a destined melody, and carry on for the very core of her is a woman that is strong enough to fill us both.

A call to all who have the opportunity to have  a Jenny or be a Jenny in someone’s life.

 Pull.